When I was taking lots of medications for what ailed me, going to the doctor often and getting the bonus prize of quarterly lab work, I didn’t check my blood glucose as often as I should have.
I have been belonephobia inclined most of my life, my fear of my lancets over-rode any fear I had of my Diabetes. Never in my wildest dreams would I ever have thought there would come a day when I feared not testing my blood glucose and the poky lancet involved.
I was pretty much a clueless diabetic until NP Christie set me to path, telling me to keep a journal, try Atkins, test often, and learn from my meter. At bedtime, upon waking, prior to meals, one and two hours after meals. Changing poking sites with each poke helped with the pain and sheer volume of poking took lancets off my to be feared list. Labs though, big needles, sweaty palms, nausea, racing thumpity thump of my heart…
I got a letter about certain strips being recalled, lucky for me, the box I had didn’t match any lot numbers. I’d had a couple of “out of whack” readings, but washing and drying my hands again, re-testing they were ok, who knows what was on the towel I had dried with previously.
Yesterday was refill day for my strips. Turned out all the strips were recalled. Fear. It set in before I could even think of an answer, “What am I supposed to do?” I asked. Being my Hot Husband’s birthday, I had a full day, no time for wrinkles, even if it was still morning. The Pharmacist said they’ve been telling everyone with that meter to just call their docs and get a different meter. Easy peasy, right?
Since the beginning of 2012, I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve needed a doctor’s visit. A couple visits for being sick and a couple for labs. Turns out I’ve not been since May. For me, that’s great, I got enough Doctor visits between 2007 and 2011 to last me the rest of my days, but for a new meter, not so much. Obviously, the fear was still with me when I asked could he see me today?
When she told me I could come in at 2:45 pm, I was overjoyed. My fear had been lessened, and I couldn’t wait to get there, there was hope, after all, for a good rest of the day. I finished running errands with time enough left to clean the house and get some washing done before Sir Hotness would be home. I found myself with a bit of free time that led to thought about how I really hate Diabetes. I know, my blood glucose has been great for almost 3 years, most days are automatic, I don’t think about my Diabetes, it’s just habit to get up, wash my hands, and test.
My Diabetes though, ruined my morning with fear of the unknown, not knowing if out of the blue I would feel poorly and need to test, or if one of my few remaining strips got the dreaded “error” message rather than a number. I didn’t like the feeling, so I pulled out a fresh target, and named it “Diabetes”.
The Doctor visit was nice, he asked about my fasting blood glucose, I told him. He didn’t ask about my postprandial, but I told him anyways. I also told him about the banana experiment. He gave me a prescription for a generic meter and sent me on my way. Thank you Doc, you alleviated what was left of my fear, or so I thought…
The funny thing about doing everything you need to do when you do something to be able to get something else done, is that it’s not guaranteed that anything actually gets done, but I didn’t think about that when I walked in with my fresh new prescription.
The dude on the other end of the line told the Pharmacist to tell me to call the manufacturer, new script or not, only one meter per year. (it was too much trouble for the dude to actually look up and find that I’ve had this meter for a couple of years)
It’s a not so great feeling when you realize that the fear is coming back full force. My Diabetes wanted to make me cry, heck, I wanted to cry. I had plans by George, smashed to smithereens plans, that special birthday dinner wasn’t going to prepare itself!
I realize there was nothing the Pharmacist could do. I also realize that my doc had done what he could do, and since by this time it was probably time for the dude on the phone to get off work, he flat out refused to do anything. Once again thoughts began racing, “what do I do?” <FEAR> I told the Pharmacist that I know it’s not their fault, but Diabetes is serious, it’s not some cold or allergy, it can be life threatening. I asked what about the Type 1 Diabetics? Turns out my experience has pretty much been the norm since the crazy recall.
I managed not to cry as I took the back roads home. (There was a wreck on the highway and it was closed up tight) I also managed to get back to our road with fifteen minutes to spare before May got out of practice, I fed the chickens. Amid the crowing and the cackling and Biscuit belting out little howls, my phone rang. It was the Pharmacist who was also the manager. Turns out that after I left, he called my doctor to get my phone number. He has taken it upon himself to get me some strips or just a temp meter, maybe today, hopefully by tomorrow, but he is going out of his way to help me. (Why are we humans not all like this man?)
Diabetes did not make me cry yesterday, but I cried on my way up the chicken yard. No tears of sadness, but tears of thankfulness that there are people out there who do care. Granted, they are few and far between, but they are there.
By the third phone call to my hot husband as I was sitting in front of the school waiting for the band room door to open, I was my normal happy self. He said I sounded better and I told him about the kind Pharmacist calling me back and that everything was going to be ok.
Sir Hots a Lot did end up beating me home and got to watch the news while I prepared his favorite, fried pork chops. (sauteed for me and shirataki broccoli turkey alfredo for May) After dinner, he had a slice of a bought cheesecake, sugar and all. Matthew and Kelly came by, the day ended on a good note.
Somewhere amid the fear and wrinkles, I had agreed to come in for labs this morning, so just ice water for me after dinner. I didn’t have a nervous breakdown as Nurse Vampire drained my vampire juice, after yesterday, I had no nerves left (I type that in a loving manner, she is the best drainer I’ve had the opportunity to be drained by).