The number one tip for health and weight loss

There’s nothing better than hanging ten on the keyboard and getting all those awesome tips for weight loss. I’ve seen “click here” for secret tips, number one tips, fruit diets, extracts of this or that, and well today’s most talked about tip I found “Juice fast”, it was even on the news… I am sad to mention that I also discovered that the news is no longer news, rather advertising for the latest fads, fashions, and celebrity gossip.

I told my hot husband how it must be super awesome because it was on the news and asked if he would like to try it. It was quite early and I had not yet had my coffee but I am pretty sure he said no. I drank my coffee and he went to work. I thought about taking a nap, then I thought about this dream I had last night where I turned into a werewolf and attacked my husband in his sleep and he was all happy about it. (Thanks daughter dear for getting me hooked on “Teen Wolf”…) {pardon me while I giggle myself into a stupor for just typing that out loud}

Anyways, my random musings, reading some good articles, and finishing that cup of coffee I decided to forgo the nap and opted to give that juicimaphatchy thing a go. I’ve been doing IF WHEN for over a year now and really, what’s the worst that could happen?

Looking into the fridge, I found that I had no kale, carrots, apples, oranges, or soybeans. I did have some strawberries, blueberries, heavy not yet whipped cow juice, and bacon. Never being one to just ignore the bacon, I pressed on. Looking into the cabinet I discovered some ground Kona beans and figured this juice thing might just work.

  •  fill Kona bean juicer basket with ground beans.
  • Pour in water according to manufacturer’s directions.
  • Remember that you got the strawberries and blueberries to make gelatin and put them back in the fridge.
  • Grab a nice heat resistant cup and sturdy spoon
  • If that bottle of DaVinci sugar free white chocolate syrup sounds good, place 1 teaspoon in cup.
  • Add one teaspoon of slippery coconut juice to cup.
  • Add one teaspoon of not whipped yet heavy cow juice.
  • Fill remainder of cup with the juice of the fine Kona beans, stir, and enjoy.

I have to admit that I kinda scoffed at the idea of a juice fast, thought it wasn’t for me, but then I realized this is the same juice I drink most mornings (with the exception of the slippery coconut juice, sometimes I go wild and just double the not whipped yet heavy cow juice instead). Oh the horrors…

I was just finishing up my first cup of juice when I had to open the fridge and retrieve more cow juice when it happened. My left hand had the cow juice but my right hand was on the meat (bacon) drawer. Before I knew it, the oven was preheating to 350°, there was bacon in a glass pie plate on the way to Pork Confit bliss.

Determined to finish my juice fast, I mixed some more juice (I like my juice cups to be small, a Kona juicer carafe full is too much for one sitting) and went outside to help keep temptation at bay. I was doing pretty good for a while, watching the cars drive by from the comfort of my throne. Pandora was on shuffle so I got to hear some songs I actually like.

I was minding my own business when it happened. “I Just Want To Be Your Everything” by Andy Gibb came on {I have to admit he was my Adam Levine back in the day}. It was like some crazy oven timer going off in my mind. The words

“You and me been finding each other for so long.

And the feeling that I feel for you is more then strong, Bacon.

Take it from me

If you give a little more then you’re asking for

Your love will turn the key”

spoke to my mind, heart, and soul. It snatched me up out of my juice fast haze and back into the kitchen. The bacon, my friends, was ready. The smell of bacon had permeated the house. I didn’t blame Biscuit (our dog) one bit for wiggling out under the gate when I stepped onto the front porch with my bacon. I even convinced him to return to his fenced in  back yard with the promise of bacon to come. (And yes, I kept my promise he got some bacon) But I digress, this is a post about the number one tip for health and weight loss of the day, the wonderful world of juicing.

My thoughts on the juice fast are as follows: Kona beans are my top choice if I am going to repeat the attempt that bacon so rudely interrupted, unless I do an instant replay tomorrow.  Make sure if you’re going to juice fast long term with Kona beans that you actually have enough for more than one carafe full. (I can not testify to the effectiveness of Folger’s until this afternoon when I attempt another juice fast between lunch and dinner lol)

When all else fails, just eat bacon. If the hens are laying, add an egg or four. Living on Kona beans sounds like a good idea on paper, but in reality it leaves one bacon deprived. Don’t be bacon deprived…

I leave you today with a picture of my throne. My hot husband got it for me for my birthday the other day. It is comfy and even has a nice spot for the king of hotness himself. There is a box in the middle with a hinged lid, the perfect hidey hole for my plate of bacon if anyone were to stop by 🙂

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4 thoughts on “The number one tip for health and weight loss

    • Thanks Phil 🙂 We’ve been together for almost 15 years, married 7. If I had known how great the marriage would be I would have married him sooner. I tell him I’m such a lucky lady to have married such a lucky man. Have a great day, Shannon

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