I’m really not avoiding you

I know, I know, two weeks and nothing to show. Believe me, I’d rather be hanging here, but some things are out of my control.

I’m sick, don’t feel good, and really haven’t been good company anyways. My doc has me on a Z-pack, steroids, an inhaler, and cough syrup in the form of Tylenol 3. I have to admit that I am neglecting my inhaler because Β it only makes me cough more. I am also not doing very well with the Tylenol 3 because I don’t like sleeping all day because it keeps me up all night.Β I did go for chest x-rays a couple days ago, and finally got the news, they are clear, yay. Makes me feel a bit better in my head, but my body is weak.

I imagine that my sickness was brought on by stress. Bad stress, stupid stress, the kind of stress that is just so freaking out in left field that it could only be fiction, but it’s not. See, once upon a time before I was happily married to my super awesome greatest husband ever, I was married to another guy.

Because I’ve had enough drama in the past 22 years I will save you all the drama by proxy and just skip to the chase. He skipped town which in turn means he skipped out on child support and seeing MY son grow up. (My son because he skipped town). It took fifteen years for the state of Tennessee and myself to find him. Just so happened he showed up on facebook not long after my son turned 18.

When he was found, my son and I gave him an opportunity to maybe try and fix what he screwed up. Instead he decided to just screw it up even worse. The state slapped him with a garnishment and we got on with our lives.

Fast forward to Mr. Deputy Sheriff showing up at my door a little over a year ago. Seems Mr. not right at all decided he didn’t want to be garnished, he wanted to re-write the sordid tale in his own words, and make up his own truths. Truth be told, I found it quite odd because his version of the truth was that I skipped town, I hid my son, I was the bad guy.

I had to hire an attorney to clear my name, to hear him tell it, I was the worst kind of evil.

Bear with me once more as I fast forward to June 5, 2013, my day in court. Having never been sued and having racked up over $4000.00 in attorney fees, I was nervous. He had several witnesses listed that I had never heard of for the sole purpose of catching me in a lie (I guess?). I had myself, my darling husband, and my son as witnesses.

The thing about lying is that you have to remember so many things, you must remember what you said in the beginning and what you may have added or embellished along the way. That’s not really easy when you have a judge sitting up there. One would think it wouldn’t be such a difficult thing to remember what your answers were when your own attorney asked them so that you could at least answer the same way when crossed, but that’s the thing about lies, it’s a lot of remembering of “non-memories”. The truth is just so much easier to keep up with.

The truth is easier because it actually happened. I lived it. I lived in shame of the truth. Jokingly, my darling husband said he should build me a closet of the skeletons this trial brought out. (Ok, they weren’t really my skeletons, but I was still embarrassed by insanity of it all) I also had on my side, documents from the last century (thank God I’m a pack-rat) that backed up my truths and my memories.

I’m really bummed because I didn’t get to testify. I was a bit miffed at the time because I wanted to sit on the witness stand and tell my version, show my truths, but with so much story changing going on before me, I guess the judge didn’t really need to hear my side. She dismissed it, in my favor. Maybe we’ll re-coup our losses as the judge ordered, but I’m not going to hold my breath.

The thing about getting sick and stress is that even when the stress is gone, the sickness remains. I really want to feel better because I have been neglecting my tomatoes and strawberries. I’ve been lax at gathering eggs and just plain feeling like crap.

How does all this tie in with my diabetes and me? Well, for one thing, the steroids have my blood sugar jacked up. It’s been a year and a half since I’ve awoken to fasting glucose levels over 90, much less the 105s and 117s I’ve seen recently. I’m due for labs but this past couple of weeks has got me re-thinking that all together. It is in my best interest to forgo the labs this month and just focus on getting well.

On the bright side, I guess I could have used this stress and this sickness to consume all kinds of feel good crap, but I didn’t. I’ve told you before that I’m a bit of a control freak, and well, when all is out of control, I can still control what passes my lips. Stress sucks, it really does. It gets worse when we give in and let it have power over us. I’ve kept pretty mum about it all because that is what I firmly believe.

I’m thinking the whole story might make for a nice novel one day, it was truly that insane…




14 thoughts on “I’m really not avoiding you

  1. That sounds like some nasty, rough time. Sorry you have had to go through all of that. 😦
    Glad to see you are starting to feel a bit better though. Hopefully the sugar will start to get back to where it belongs!

    • Thanks πŸ™‚ I do feel much better. Been spending as much time outside as possible. The air, the sun, or the beauty of nature just has a healing effect. Have a great day πŸ™‚

  2. Glad you are back. Wow. Enough said. Won’t even try and comment on what happened. But, isn’t it wonderful that you are happy and have a wonderful husband? And, such a great son. You are very smart to count your blessings – because you have so many.

    I hope you can sleep and breathe – just breathe easily now that it’s over.

    Keeping you in my thoughts.


    • Thanks Debbie πŸ™‚ Feeling pretty good this morning, got up and moved the mater and strawberries into the morning sun. Kinda shocked that they are thriving on neglect. Probable re-plant planned for today.

  3. Stress is a culprit behind many illness, and will raise one’s BG. I hope that this book of challenges in your life closes for good. In the meantime, breathe, sleep, and hug your lovely husband and son.

  4. Sending you well wishes! Your body is asking you to rest. You have been through a lot. You seem to be a strong woman and will be even stronger once you have had your needed rest. Best! -D

    • Thanks Debbee πŸ™‚ I’m hoping tonight will be restful. I typed this yesterday but only saved it as a draft. I’m hoping that clicking publish today purges it out of my system. Tomorrow is the last day of antibiotics and my fingers are crossed that I’ll be back to being me asap. Have a great day πŸ™‚

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