On the rare occasion that I am unable to fall asleep, I end up falling to think. My mind hits overdrive, causing me to think about something until I fall asleep from the effort. Normally my black out mask and meditation get me nodding right off, but even that’s not working. I’m just not tired. Between daylight savings, spring break, and my husband reminding me of spring break, sweetly saying “you can go back to bed”, I’ve done just that for the past two days.
Last night as I lay in bed falling to think, I couldn’t help thinking about “what am I?”. I didn’t really think about what I know, like a wife, mom, memaw, type 2 diabetic… My thoughts were more geared toward as far as my eating style or as some would use that four letter swear word, diet.
The more I thought, the less I knew. My journey really has had some major twists and turns. I started out with Atkins, the 1992 edition, it was working ok, but I learned about the new Atkins.
The new Atkins taught me about net carbs and math. They taught me that I could have candy bars and milk shakes provided they were their brand. I met a lot of wonderful well meaning people who told me I was eating too much, I wasn’t eating enough, eat every two hours or you’ll get starvation mode… I also met a lot of wonderful well meaning people who had things like cheat days, and ate candy bars for breakfast, as a snack, when ever, who still lost weight. At that time, I met some wonderful well meaning people who told me “take what you need and leave the rest”, “we are all different, what works for one doesn’t work for all”, “you have to find your own way”. These people were often accused of “not doing it right”, “you gotta do it the NANY way”, “that’s not Atkins”.
Those buckers of the system were the very people that helped me the most. They introduced me to a whole world of people like myself, people who were hell bent on finding what works for them, instead of staying true to what really wasn’t working. These are the people who helped me find my way. The thing these people had in common was that they didn’t limit themselves to doing it by the book, they looked for more information as needed in their own journeys.
Someone from that last group of people introduced me to a wonderful website, bloodsugar101 that helped me to understand the whys and hows that I had never learned when diabetes was in the driver’s seat. I learned that it wasn’t the protein in those candy bars spiking my blood sugar as many wonderful well meaning people said, rather the maltitol. I learned that sugar alcohols were the culprit by eating sugar free candy of a different brand and having the same problem.
Through those people I was also introduced to a whole new way of life, just eat real food. It was there that I was introduced to Paleo and Primal. These groups were so gung ho that as someone who started with Atkins, I really felt like an outsider. I did learn that Paleo, Primal, and old school Atkins really aren’t that different, and I was just in the middle somewhere.
When I needed more help with my T2 Diabetes, “Dr. Bernstein’s Diabetes Solution” was recommended to me. It re-enforced the the whole foods and testing my blood sugar often. I thought I knew a lot about what I put in my mouth, but testing more often, before and after each re-introduced food showed me I didn’t know as much as I thought.
Bloodsugar101 and Dr. Bernstein’s book told me what dawn pheonom was, but didn’t really help me get rid of it. It was my last major hurdle as far as getting control over my health and well being. So when one of those buckers of the system was taking a left when everyone else was still going right, I took a leap of faith and followed her to the dark side.
She was doing the Leptin Rx it was whole foods, just eaten at different times, geared at teaching the difference in hunger and habit. I’m pretty sure it was the part about not eating after dinner that really helped my dawn phenom problem, and the bonus was that for me, it did teach me to eat out of hunger instead of boredom or habit.
Somewhere along the line, I was introduced to FatHead, the movie. It taught me to question everything and find out what works for me. It’s not really a diet or WOE, but fellow Fatheads are open to all people, Paleo, Primal, Atkins, what ever. They are the people who question everything, they have taught me that not all studies are created equal, that science can be flawed by agenda, and follow the money.
It all falls back to finding what works for ourselves as individuals. I see commercials for lose weight quick type products and can’t help but feel bad for all the people who try and fail. Since we are all different, surely those products work for some, but no one thing works for all. Rather than invest in losing it quick, invest time into finding what really works long term.
I still never really figured out exactly what I am with regards to my eating style. You could call me Primkins, maybe, just don’t call me after 10:00pm ha ha. In all my thinking last night I came to the conclusion that I don’t think the label really even matters. What matters is the journey and what we learn from it. Learn every day.
I leave you today with a picture of me the morning after the casino dancing last month. The sun was blaring, so I’m squinting, but I’m also smiling. I’m smiling because I awoke to another beautiful (maybe a little cold) day, and I have found that better health and happiness go hand in hand.